Some days I just struggle mightily just to NOT be an asshole.
I don’t suffer fools gladly, and sometimes I go off on people in ways I later regret.
Some days it’s a struggle just not to be an asshole. Or at the very least stick to my resolution to only use my assholery for good.
Taking a compliment from someone gracefully is sometimes the hardest thing for me.
Someone PM’ed me once with the concluding remark “…I think you’re awesome!”
And it took every fiber of my being to resist replying with “LOL, I think you misspelled ‘asshole’.” (that’s how deep my self-loathing runs sometimes).
Someone asked in an anime group on Facebook that I belong to which anime character of a gender different from my own that I identify with most strongly. I only had to think about it for a few seconds before I had my answer: Chika Oguie (of the Genshiken franchise)….
She’s always angry at stupid people, feels acutely embarrassed about her past and her unsophisticated rural upbringing; she’s incredibly talented but also feels great shame. She claims to hate all otaku but skips over the fact that she is one, which means she feels intense, intense self-loathing.
When I first saw her in the Genshiken series, it was love at first sight.